I haven't got a lot to say this week....there is a lot going on at home that is affecting me and has thrown me right off my game. SO here is a quick recap and a look into what I want to achieve.
I've said before running is like therapy for me. When it becomes too much, I can hit the pavement and work it out. That seems to have halted. A lot is going on emotionally and even running just seems to be one.more.thing.
I hate this. I know that is a strong word...but running is suppose to be a release. It has nothing to actually do with running that I've hit a wall...it's me and my mind right now.
I need focus and nothing..NOTHING I do gets me out of my head. I'm praying constantly that relief comes, but each day it is like the load gets heavier.
My future currently lies in someone else's hands. Their decision affects the lives of me and my children forever. This is putting me in a dark place. I do not like to feel so out of control. So...I've been sitting and waiting. I'm waiting for a sign as to which direction they will go. I've been waiting for words that have failed to arise. I wait in silence hoping that my WANTS for the situation will magically come forth.
I'm tired....of waiting...of hurting...of questioning.
So, I ran yesterday. (It didn't rain for a change!)
I went out for a slow, easy 5 km run. I got to the T-junction that loops me back to my house to finish my 5 km. Here is a decision point...one I don't normally think to much about. I can go forward and take the long way and do my 5 km or I can turn right and cut it short to 4 km. The thing about the short path...it hurts a little more. There is a hill. Not a big one...I can see the top of it, but it is enough to let my calves feel it.
This time the decision struck me. I stood there looking at these two paths as if they're where I sit now in life. I could go forward...continuing on my easy path I've choosen in silence and battle out what I'd already set in mind. Take it for the long haul....
Or. Or I could cut it short knowing it is going to burn a little more and open up. I can voice up say what I want and let the cards fall where they may.
I chose the shorten path. And yes....my calves felt it a little more. But you know what else...I saw other runners. I never see them on my other forward path. Yesterday, I saw them. They saw me. It was like they were battling just as I was.....maybe.
|Photo courtesy Google: My Motto for the coming week|
March 4- March 10
Dudes and dudettes....I've been slacking.
It's been raining. It's late in the season for rain...but it's here....every...EVERY afternoon. I still haven't gotten the morning thing down to where I can fit in a run before work...so when Hubby gets home at 5:30pm is the only chance I get. If it's raining that means no run for me...since I still don't have a treadmill. I'm dying for one but they cost about 1/4 of my monthly salary! So until we're out of debt...that is a NO GO! :-(
Here is what I managed to get done....
2x 5km runs. Both were easy and done in about 38 minutes. I'm wanting faster for my April run...but since I'm not getting out there as much as I'd like; I'll take it!
1x 4km run. This was a fast run and I was back in 25 minutes! Yea for a little bit of speed.
1x yoga day. I learnt I can get some cross training done with the littles involved. Lil Mister enjoyed trying to knock me out of my poses...I enjoyed the extra challenge holding them while he rammed me!
1x core strength train....I really need to do more of this!
March 18- March 23
4x cross training (2x full body 2x core)
2x Easy runs 4-6 km
Speed: 6x400m @2:25-2:20
Tempo: 2x 1k tempo @ 6:00
10 km long run
Wish me luck and stay tuned next week!