Tuesday, 14 January 2014

When Your Toddler Says He's the Boss

You know, peeps, sometimes I have a hard time being honest on here. No...I don’t lie! I just don’t tell you everything. I guess that is kind of normal. I know very few bloggers who genuinely share everything!

We all take sanction rights and pick and choose what areas we will reveal and what areas remain private for us! For some, they are very honest with every detail of their lives but keep names and faces private....others share every picture they have of their child but refuses to admit to having a 2 hour battle every night at bedtime!

I guess the point I’m getting to is that I need to be honest about something!


We are going through a rough sometimes unbelievably nightmarish time with Lil Mister right now. There are moments like this morning where he just melts my heart. He is watching Dora and asks Papa to lie on the couch with him. He then tells Papa that Papa must lay his head in Lil Misters lap as Lil Mister rubs Papas head (just like I do to Lil Mister in the evenings!). It was precious. It was perfect. It almost made me forget all the downs over the past couple of months.

Somewhere along the line, Lil Mister has developed this idea that it is okay to scream at us. He tells us no and then screams and kicks all the way to the bathroom as we place him in time out for talking back. He then cries and throws a tantrum. Yesterday, he actually kicked the bathroom door! Seriously, peeps, kicked the door! I was scared he was going to get hurt or I was going to be replacing a door.

He will tell us that we are naughty when we put him in time out or cry for what seems like FOREVER if I take a toy away because he has been naughty with it! What’s worse....LJ is picking up this behaviour! My one year old child literally threw himself on his tummy the other day as I took a toy away because he hit the dog! I mean, peeps, he is one! His face get’s all purple and red....and with all that blonde hair it looks like his whole head is red! He stomps his little feet and tugs at my pants.....and then looks to Papa for sympathy like I’ve all of the sudden sunk in his books!

But back to Lil Mister....I’m truly at a loss! What happened to my angel? Really....he always threw a tantrum here or there. It was normal....but not like this! Not daily! I feel like my children are crying every.single.day because let’s face it, they are!

Lil Mister tells me no, he won’t go bath because he wants to continue to swing. So....Papa and I take LJ inside and shut the door on Lil Mister outside. We clearly explained it was bath time and that was what we are going to do. He then cries because we left him outside (my yard is completely closed in and the door is a security gate that we can clearly see through....heck Lil Mister could have just slid it open!). Once in the bath....we are okay. Until he decides to push LJ’s head under water or throw a cup of water over his face. Then he is crying again because we have now taken the cup away, subsequently LJ is also crying because of the water.

Usually, we manage to get dressed without fractures but only on account of extreme patience and relentless repeating to Lil Mister that it is now in fact time to get dressed and not jump on the beds time.

Then comes the game of eating.

We have resorted to allowing no juice or tea after dinner if he does not eat. We are not so cruel that we expect him to eat EVERYTHING on his plate. I just want to see that he has made a genuine effort to eat. One bite doesn’t count. So instead, if he refuses to eat....I set his food aside for later. He gets no other food and nothing but water to drink. Typically around the time I am making tea for the rest of us before bed....he decides he will eat his food!

LJ is still crying it out for about 20 minutes before we get him to sleep in his crib and then wakes up almost every hour....but we are relentless and continue the fight!

Lil Mister however....again decides night per night how he wants to handle bed time. One night, we will head into the room, read stories, and go to sleep just fine. The next he continuously comes out of his bed, throws a tantrum about how he doesn’t want to be in his bed, and takes an hour to get to sleep. The next night he falls asleep in his dad’s lap 30 minutes before bedtime!

At the end of the day, however, we are trying to be consistent. We (Papa and Mama) are working on lowering our voices and our tempers. We are speaking more quietly and rather just ignoring his tantrums than giving him any attention at all when he is acting like this. If he screams at us or tells us no, he either gets put in time out or given sauce (we learnt that for him tomato sauce works just as well as hot sauce....he gives the same reaction!) for talking back. He must push the boundaries quite far before we resort to a spanking. It is a punishment we don’t enjoy, but will use if absolutely necessary (like after he had been put in time out 6 times for hitting the dog or his brother).

We are also focusing more on routine! I’ll post more about this later, but all of this started after we got back from our holiday and Lil Mister was done with school for the year! You see, he stopped school on the 15th Nov. to go to holiday and then returned and went to school for 2 ½ days and then was let out for the Christmas break. He goes back to school the 15th Jan! That was a big break! It was long....he has been bored at home. A child needs to learn to be bored....but it is time to get things back in order.

Do any of you have issues with your children and tantrums? Do any of your toddlers talk back? How do you handle it?


Stay tuned next week for more on how we are dealing with routines!




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XOXxx


Shana Danae..

3 comments:

  1. Oh, you are so not alone! I think it's the age because my just turned three year old is the same way about almost everything. My 15 month old is getting this way too. I usually just tell him to let me know when he's done and walk into another room. I also make sure to give him some one on one attention every night so he doesn't feel neglected. Some days are worse than others though, that's for sure!

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  2. We do the same! We will take him to the bathroom and tell him he can come out when he wants to act like a big boy! LJ is only one now and already picking up on tantrums!! But, honestly, its nice to know other parents deal with similar! Im sure both our kids will grow out of it but for now...I need coffee (or maybe wine lol)!

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  3. Consistency is definitely key .. but that is so hard at times {especially when you or hubs may not agree!} Brian and I have a hard time with this with Reagan. Rey goes through her stages at bedtime and it drives me bonkers. I want to kill her most of the time -- but then I also have to realize that it's a learning experience for them to. It won't always be like this but still -- I wish it would hurry the hell up and go! LOL

    You're not along mama... it's definitely an age thing. Testing the boundaries is definitely what they excel at at this stage! Ugh ...

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