I’m just going to put this out there.... I am deathly afraid of getting pregnant again! Whew. There I said it!
|9 months pregnant with LJ|
I know some of you are like ‘WHAT’ and I am praying there are a few of you shaking your heads in agreement. But I can not tell you how truly scared I am! I am on the shot. So I am supposed to be pretty well protected but I know from experience that is not 100%.
I am not even talking about the financial repercussions of another child in our household. That is a whole other stress! What I am talking about is the actual pregnancy!
I saw so many little jokes on April Fools Day about pregnancy and I did not get offended but did think to myself ‘Yes, those women are brave because that is like bringing on karma!’ You see, peeps, I am not a woman that particularly enjoyed being pregnant. I know there were some gasps out there, but seriously....
Let us be honest with one another. For the first three four five months, I was exhausted. I mean like unbearably exhausted....falling asleep at work exhausted. During my first pregnancy, my breast hurt so bad I couldn’t even stand a blanket and during my second pregnancy I experienced all day sickness until almost 30 weeks!
I was swollen by the fourth month with both pregnancies and don’t even let me begin on experiencing your third trimester in above 90 degree weather! I never got that raging sex drive....heck, I was lucky to comprehend sex through most of my pregnancies.
I didn’t complain and treat Hubby like crap though. I bared it, worked full time, and called in sick whenever it was possible! :-/ I cleaned house, cooked meals, and during my second pregnancy, took care of Lil Mister.
I just didn’t really...like it! In fact, I would have skipped over the whole pregnancy part altogether. Sorry not sorry!
So now, I constantly fear that I am pregnant! I look for those tell tale signs....and have really weird dreams about those girls on “I didn’t know I was pregnant.” Which I always swore was impossible and now get irrational about what if that was me!
I love my boys and wouldn’t trade them even for a no pregnancy experience....they are my world, but believe me...when they are 30...they will know how much I did NOT like being pregnant and how they have left me permanently scarred with fear! ;-)
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